Valentine's All Year
by Jonathan D. Sherman, LMFT

Valentine’s Day all year? Why not? Why not take all the time, attentiveness, thoughtfulness and planning that goes into Valentine’s Day and spread it out through the whole year? Sounds good, yes, but is it really practical?

Guiding principle: Practical romance.

Yes. Not only is it practical, it also simply makes a lot of sense. Valentine’s all year does not need to be flowers and dining out every day. It is about splurging with our attention and with our commitments for one another. Practical romance is all about showering one’s spouse with simple, fun, deep, profound, silly and meaningful words and deeds on a regular and consistent basis and not just once a year. Valentine’s all year is not a fluffy, superficial approach to romance. At this point in my life I only have time for real, practical, solid approaches that simply work.

Guiding principle: Don’t just wish, want or hope. Decide.

To get great relationship results we must have a clear, identifiable mechanism for carrying it out throughout the year. By learning the guiding principles and practical techniques of creating great relationships we can unlearn what isn’t working and learn what does work. These great relationship principles then become the vehicle that will carry us to our destination.

To accomplish this we cannot continue the ineffective practice of thinking that just because we really want, wish or hope for something bad enough that we will get it. That is not enough for this type of work. We have to decide and then have clear plan of how we are going to implement it in our relationships. That is the whole point of the Valentine’s All Year concept. It is designed to be not only a mindset, but also a series of specific exercises to jump start you into having possibly one of the best years of your marriage. It is designed to help you transform your relationship into what you always wanted it to be but didn’t know how. This is what real romance is all about. Not just a few days out of the year where we really focus on the relationship. But every day. All year.

Practical technique: Adopt the mindset and start the work.

I encourage you to adopt the Valentine’s All Year mindset as a means to really learn how to appreciate each other, how to deeply commit to each other, and how to communicate what is essential to each other. It takes a lot of willingness, attentiveness, time, thoughtfulness, mindfulness and practice. In short it takes a lot of work. The return on the investment, however, is huge and way worth it.

How can you apply the mindset? One way is to simply start by making a list of 52 things you can do for your spouse this year to express your love and commitment to him or her. If that sounds like a lot, just start with a list of ten. Once you start the ideas will continue to flow. Work on it until you have identified the list of 52. If you get stuck, call or email me and I’ll be happy to give you a few great ideas. Once you have made your list begin implementing one idea each week for the next year until next Valentine’s Day and just see how things have improved.

Practical techniques: Come and get ‘em!

Join me for “Valentine’s All Year” this Valentine’s Day, February 14th, from 9:00 a.m. to noon at the Ranches Golf Club. Come and enjoy this fun, upbeat and informative mini-retreat and learn how to be more mindful of your relationship throughout the year. The Three Peaks Grille there will serve a continental breakfast. For more information and to register contact me at 801.787.8014 or at jonathan@bardos.net or visit bardos.net/valentines.

More articles and tips for creating greatness in your relationships can be found at bardos.net/resources

Jonathan Sherman is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Relationship Consultant specializing in creating "greatness in relationships." He is experienced in assisting people learn to improve their marriages, their parenting and themselves through skill development, life coaching, overcoming depression and anxiety, stress and anger management, and addiction recovery. He teaches extensively on a wide range of relationship topics. He is the founder of Bardos Relationship Consulting. He is married to a skillled husband trainer who has truly earned her keep. They live in eternal bliss (okay, fairly peaceably) with their four children in American Fork, UT. You may reach him at 801.787.8014, jonathan@bardos.net or at www.bardos.net.
Practical Romance Experiences

How have you created more practical and real romance in your marriage? Send your ideas to ideas@barodos.net and I'll post them here.


This article provided courtesy of Bardos Relationship Consulting• 801.787.8014 • bardos.net