Why Don't You Kids Grow Up?

One of these days you'll shout, "Why don't you kids act your age and grow up?!" And they will. Or, "You guys get outside and find something to do." And they will. "Don't slam the door." And they won't. You'll straighten the boys room neat and tidy, discard the gum and candy wrappers, pick up the dirty socks, stack the toys on the shelf, make the beds sweep the floor, and yell, "Now I want the room to stay this way." And it will [you can hardly wait right?]. You'll prepare a dinner, perfect dinner, with a salad that hasn't been picked to death, bring out a cake with no finger marks on the icing, sit down to beautiful table with everything in its place and you'll say, "Now, there's a meal fit for a company." And you'll eat it alone. You'll say, "I want some quiet around here. Shut off the TV. Turn down the radio. Quit banging around. Quit fighting. I want silence and privacy." And you'll have both.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti. No more dirty bedspreads. No more plastic sheets to protect the mattresses from wet bottoms. No more toys on the floor to fall over. No more dirty rings in the bathtub. No more stopped up sinks, washer run over, shirts burned with iron marks, bubble-gum in the blankets. No anxious nights under a vaporizer tent. No more colic, diarrhea, whooping cough, wet clothes. No more colds. No more sand in the beds, food on the rugs, marks on the walls, dirt in the furniture, paint on the windows. No more smashed fingers. Imagine no iron on patches. No wet, knotted shoe strings. No lipstick with a point, odd socks that don't match up, no babysitter on New Year's Eve. Imagine seeing a steak that isn't ground. No PTO meetings, no back to school nights. No more cavities. And no more car pools. [Think about it]. No more broken toys on Christmas Day. No more gifts for you made of toothpicks and library glue. No more sloppy oatmeal kisses. No more giggles in the dark. No more scraped knees. No responsibility. Only reflective voice crying out, "Why don't you kids grow up?" And the silence echoing, "We have."